By Yangchen (Mimi) Nyandak, a former New Yorker, now residing in Toronto, Canada
A decade later, thoughts of 9/11 still draws many emotions. Images, still all too vivid, as I was there that September 11 morning and witnessed the entire tragedy unfold. No doubt, 9/11 changed America as a whole, but it had a profound impact on me. It changed my life.
It was the first start day of school, and my 12 year-old son, Jigten was going into a new school, IS-89 on Warren street, a couple of blocks from the Twin Towers. We got to his school early, leaving me enough time to run a couple of errands inside the Concourse of the World Trade Center. However, when Jigten realized that I did not have the blue information card that needed to be completed and submitted to his Home Room teacher, he insisted that I go to the school’s main office to fill out a new one and leave it at the office.
As I had expected, the line at the office was long, but I remained in line patiently until I completed my task. Once outside, I quickly checked my watch to see if I still had time to do my errands at the World Trade Center. It was 8:39 am. Because of the unexpected delay, as well as the fact that I’m a slow walker, due to having undergone bilateral hip replacement, I realized I didn’t have much time left. I decided to go straight to work.
When, suddenly, I heard a very loud rumbling sound of a plane coming from behind. I looked back and I saw a large plane flying very low, heading straight towards the World Financial Center area. I was very alarmed, but before I could even think any further, it passed right over my head and slammed into the first Tower.
I just stood there in total shock, unable to move and unable to dial the numbers on my cell phone because my hand was shaking so much. I wanted to call my office and alert them of the terrible accident. By now a crowd had gathered around me, all staring helplessly up into the sky. At that very moment, I felt a deep sense of sadness come over me because, even in my inexperienced eyes and knowledge, I predicted the building was going to come down. There was no way it could withstand holding such a large plane so high up there, still lodged inside and still burning. That’s when I saw another plane coming from the front this time; tilted sideways before jamming into the second Tower. It was devastating and most terrifying because this time I knew it was no accident, it was a deliberate attack.
Seeing the devastation and bodies falling from the sky was surreal. I could not believe what all just happened. But there was no time to waste; I had to return to the school for my son. I could barely get my legs to move because I was numb with shock, fear and panic. All the children were gathered in the cafeteria waiting to be picked up by their parents. Jigten quickly spotted me when I walked in, and we then quickly exited out of the building and headed uptown as fast as we could.
We made a quick stop at a restaurant for some water to wash down the debris from our mouth and face, and then continued on uptown. And just as we came out, one of the Twin Towers came crumbling down, leaving everything in white smoke. It was a horrifying sight. It looked like the whole downtown financial district was completely erased.
Finally we found refuge at a family friend’s home on 34th Street & Third Avenue, and there we stayed until late into the night before heading off to our home in Brooklyn Heights.
For one month, I worked out of my home. And within a month, American Express relocated to Jersey City. The move was however, temporary, as we were to return to the World Financial Center as soon as the renovation was complete. Also, Jigten’s school was closed down; it was being used as a make-shift morgue. He had to join another school further uptown. All the chaos and disruption in our life, it was too much. I knew what I had to do. It was time to move out of New York.
9/11 changed everything for me. New York was no longer the same. The daily security checks when coming into work at the Amex Tower was too much. I no longer felt joy. There was so much sadness but I had to be strong for my son, but when alone, I constantly cried. I had nightmares, often waking up in a sweat. I was afraid of planes, even the sound of a plane flying was nerving, whereas before I never used to. In summer of 2002, I left my job of 18 years with American Express, sold our home and moved to Toronto. We took the Amtrak train.
As I reflect on 9/11, I feel lucky to be alive, thanks to my young son; he possibly saved my life that day. 9/11 not only changed my life, it left me questioning my identity, my nationality, etc. First and foremost, I am a Tibetan by origin. My parents made the painful decision to leave their beloved homeland and escaped to India after communist China took over Tibet by brutal force in 1959. So, India became my second home, living as refugees in northern part of India.
In 1974, my parents, who did not know the English language, made a brave decision to immigrate to Canada for a better life and opportunity for their four children. Canada was now our home. We became Canadian citizens. And ten years later, New York became my next home, where I met my husband, a Tibetan and a US citizen. I had my son in 1989 and I was beginning to enjoy all what New York life had to offer. Life was good, so I thought.
However, 9/11 changed everything for me. New York was not the same any more, and never will be again for me. In retrospect, I don’t regret the decisions I made. I often think what if my son had not insisted that I go to the school’s main office. Things could have turned out very differently for me. I may not have made it out alive had I gone into the World Trade Center Concourse.
As terrible and unforgettable 9/11 experience was for my son and me, we have happily settled down in Toronto. I feel safer, less stress, and happy to have family close by. Jigten is all but grown up now and entering third-year of University. He seems happy and has adjusted well. And as for me, I consider myself a Canadian Tibetan, and am quite fine with having given up my American dream for a Canadian dream.
[OPINION-DISCLAIMER]
