By Tenpa Dugdak
“You come home, raise your hand on your wife/husband, it’s an assault. But when the same hands are raised on your children, it’s
discipline”.
Few years back, my friend’s head was trashed by a monk, yap, a monk and I am not joking! His fault was that he touched a ‘juniper’ at the school temple which for that monk was untouchable!! The monk took a school mug [which was made up of steel] and the rest is too violent to mention. The monk must have said, ‘Crisis, what crisis?’
When that monk went inside the temple [I am sure he would have killed any student at that time if annoyed!!!]. My friend was really terrified of what just happened and confused why it has happened and for a few seconds, I saw blood flowing from his head. If the monk had witnessed that scene he would have said, ‘Oh, that crisis!!!’. Since then, my friend has been saying, ‘That monk was such an oxymoron’, which is pretty true.
Welcome to our society where children are most vulnerable.
Corporal punishment means inflicting pain on the recipients, means infliction of physical pain without injury but I wonder what you would call if you hit someone with the name of corporal punishment with serious injury—– would be violence but again not in our society. CP [corporal punishment] goes by a variety of names such as beating, hitting, spanking, paddling, swatting, caning and smacking.
I am not an activist of Children’s Rights but I do would like to think that I am a bit fretful about the extent of corporal punishment in our society……. ”I would definitely listen if someone asked or said to me in a nice manner that corporal punishment is not good at all”, whispered my 10 years old sister when I asked her outlook on this issue. I still get very angry when my sister says some obnoxious words or when she wears new shoes that was supposed to be for my distant sister in India. But I am glad she taught me how I can deal with such situations. It has been really strange as I asked many Tibetan students here who had done a few years schooling in India, ‘Do you miss school back in India?’. And they all have got this straight forward answer which is, ‘Yeh, I do miss my friends but I am glad that I am here coz no one hits me here’.
It’s a social stigma how we see on this issue and I have seen millions of times, in our society, children being physically punished and then the punishers says the same old dialogue, ‘I did that because I love and care for my children or students!’. Strange enough I had said the same when I was in school. But one thing I know is that my anger has always dominated over love and concern for those children. So, I guess it’s important for you to think whether your anger is stronger than love and care for the children or vice-versa. From my own experience, I know that CP depends largely on the punisher’s mood. OK, take this scene as an example. You wagged [bunked] my period for one whole week and, next week when you attend your class I say, ‘Tenzin, don’t do that next time’, coz I am in a very happy mood as I had married my girlfriend last weekend and I have got lots of presents lying there in my house. So I wouldn’t bother ruining my mood. A few months later, you again wagged a period of mine and I start bashing you up and complain to you about your previous wagging. This is how it was when I was in school and I am quite sure it had happened to you and will happen to your kids when you become parents or to your students when you become a teacher. So, you should ask yourself………why I am hitting that kid? Is it because you want to release your anger or you want to change that kid’s behaviour?
I asked some Tibetan monks here if there is any reference of CP [corporal punishment] in the Buddhist scriptures and they all have got this big answer which is ‘NO’. Leona Kieran, a long time Tibetan supporter, studying ‘peace and conflict resolution’ [doing Masters and in her last year] and a firm Buddhist says, ‘The punisher requires a degree of empathy to do this, and it will not be achieved by acting with violence and, people are not perfect and so, will not always hit someone in a detached way, wishing only that they learn to do the right thing. A teacher could be tired, frustrated or annoyed, and may even be angry. This could result in more pain than intended, and confusion for the wrongdoer who may either be frightened, or harbour resentment for a long time. The hitting could have the effect of making the punisher feel better – relieving his anger and frustration. Therefore it could act like a reward, and the next time he feels frustrated and angry, he will deal with it by punishing with hitting, regardless of whether the person ‘deserves’ the punishment. The hitting could become just a habit and could increase feelings of anger in his mind and heart”.
Calcutta High Court, on Friday 7th February 2004, banned the age-old practice of canning or beating students in the State schools. Tapas Bhanja [advocate] said, ‘In the age of scientific teaching, canning or beating—- which is contrary to Universal Declaration of Human Rights —- caused mental trauma. On 11th of July, Sunday, 2004, there was a poll in the Times of India about CP and believe it or not, 75% said they are against CP. So, I guess it’s time to learn from them. I know sometimes Tibetan students seem to work only with stick or belt and you think that it’s working….. Right? But according to research published in the Archives of Paediatrics and Adolescent Medicine, “while CP may be effective in correcting behaviour in the short term, the long term effect of such punishment is increased anti-social behaviour. You might seldom recognize this boomerang effect because it happens over months and months”. I wonder why some Tibetans [be it students, laymen and sometimes even some monks] always tend to use weapons when having problems with other people. I mean you hardly see any Tibetan fighting verbally for more than a few minutes and the result…. bruises or discoloration everywhere on both the parties and; why most of our soccer matches end up in ….you know what I mean……….. Sorry, what did you say? Oh …’What about violence in America?… CP is illegal there but violence tends to be quite high. So, you got anything to say on this Mr.????………. I know what you mean and trust me, I used to say this way back when I was peeing in my pants but, not until I saw this documentary called Bowling for Columbine by Michael Moore. In his documentary, he clearly mentions that in the last few years violence in America has dropped by 20% but the media attention to this issue has increased by 500 times. So, you can now figure it out by yourself!
The arguments raised by those who believe that corporal punishment should never be inflicted are that corporal punishment leads to abuse, is degrading, is psychologically damaging, and teaches a wrong lesson, arises from and causes poor relationship between teachers (or parents) and children, could lead to suicide. Do you think you are not affected? Take your time and think again!
I also saw this documentary about CP and came to know that Sweden was the first country in the world that had banned CP [banned in 1979] regarding it as illegal. Strange enough…….. youth suicides and other youth problems decreased sharply soon after this law. There were many interviews, in that documentary, with children and some of them said: ‘I don’t think it’s fair that a man or woman should beat a child because they should be setting a better example. They should explain to them. Not hurt them’. [Andrew, aged 9] ‘It teaches children to hit. If no adults hit children, then children wouldn’t hit either so, there would be less violence’. [Sophie 8]Some of the children’s response of how they feel when they get physical punishment: ‘Humiliated, angry and determined to smack back .Felt the person was a bad example’.’Confused, didn’t realize what I was smacked for. Angry, because it hurts’.One child in Ethiopia says, ‘Treat us like people! Hear what we say! We want respect!’. So, if you asked these sort of questions to Tibetan children I am sure their response would be similar but I know we don’t do that, right? Coz Tibetan adults are always right!! What a gimmick, as I said this thousands of times when I was in high school in India. I think it’s now time to listen to them for what they have to say.
Murray Straus who has done one of the leading research on this issue has concluded by saying, ‘The more children are spanked , the more likely they will grow up to be less successful academically, have unhappier marriages, earn less money, and live unhappier lives than children who are never spanked’. I know what you are thinking right now…. So you are saying it’s wrong because you think CP hasn’t affected your marriage and you had gained a lot of benefits from CP. But please let me say this, ‘I think religion has played quite an important role in healing these sorts of negative outcomes but if you have noticed, religion is becoming out of fashion among Tibetan youths these days.
‘CP is associated with numerous risks for children’, said Elizabeth Gershoff, a researcher at Columbia University’s National Centre. ‘There is no situation I can think of, where a child should be spanked. Here’s how a child’s thinking might develop’, says Haymen, ‘He hits his brother. The mother yells, “Don’t hit your brother!” and then, she spanks him. Does he think, ‘I should never hit my brother because it’s wrong, and I know what it’s like to get hit and it hurts’? Of course not. He thinks, ‘It’s OK for a big person to hit a small person when you are the parent.’ Cherie Kennaugh, who works as a social worker in Sydney University and has been working very closely with the Tibetan Community lately says, ‘I think that Corporal Punishment is wrong and unacceptable in most, if not all circumstances. There are other ways and means of dealing with issues in a non-violent way. It seems as though people should take note of that and not be so quick to be confrontational in a violent way’.
There is some positive things about CP like, it stop the misbehaviour [specially critical in dangerous situation], it shows the children who’s boss, is part of parent’s cultural and/or religious heritage, makes children afraid of doing wrong things. But I remember very vividly the words of my geography teacher, Mr.Tashi Tsering. He said, ‘If you see a doctor and asked for a cure for your flu or fever, he will give you medicine but, it doesn’t mean you won’t have a fever or flu for the rest of your lives which means it’s only a short term. But if you see a Buddhist teacher or lama, he will show you the way to end this flu or fever forever which means he will show you the way to enlightenment’. So I guess, from his point of view, long term effect is more important than a short term effect. It is quite funny coz he talks more passionately about Buddhism and how it has affected his way of life more than his subject. Most students knew he was known for his unruliness when he was a student, having a lot of trouble with teachers and other students. But as a teacher, he never hit his students and I think I should give a bit of credit to his close ties with Buddhism, which I heard, doesn’t believe in violence!! So I wonder why you have forgotten one of the most vital messages of Lord Buddha which is Non-violence. May be you need to do some more work on this part or you can still play hide and seek on this matter with Lord Buddha!!
Oh, you might say CP hasn’t had any impact on children’s health— think again coz you don’t do any sort of medical tests on the child after hitting him/her but, if you do, I bet it won’t be good. One of my dear friends, Palden Wangchuk was beaten very shoddily by a school prefect coz he was involved in this brawl inspite of several warnings…… again and again. That time I thought he deserved that punishment and trust me, if I were the prefect, he would have end up in a hospital but it was a bit emotional when I met him on chat [MSN] recently and he said, ‘He still had some hearing and psychological problem’. So, you be very careful when you hit someone —-
Remember, you neither help a child by CP nor you love that child as Lise Layard, one of my teacher [teaches human rights and social justice as well as group maintainance] says, ‘Love is the best discipline’.
Website to look for CP ……… endcorporalpunishment.org
Tenpa Dugdak was born in Tibet. He left Tibet at the age of four. He graduated from Tibetan Homes School, Mussoorie in 2002 and went to Australia for further studies. He is currently studying Community Service[Welfare] at local college [TAFE].
